Have you ever felt stuck in repetitive patterns that don’t seem to be your own? Perhaps you’ve tried various therapeutic approaches but still sense that something deeper is at play—something that may have its roots in your family history or ancestral lineage?
Family constellation therapy offers a unique window into these hidden dynamics. As a family constellation facilitator practicing throughout Europe and based in Ireland, I’ve guided hundreds of clients through this profound process of discovery and healing. Yet for many considering this approach, there’s often one pressing question: “What actually happens in a family constellation session?”
Whether you’re curious about participating in a workshop, considering a one-on-one session, or researching healing modalities for transgenerational patterns, this comprehensive guide will walk you through the entire family constellation process—from preparation to completion—so you can make an informed decision about whether this approach is right for you.
What is Family Constellation Therapy?
Before diving into the specifics of a session, let’s briefly understand what family constellation therapy is.
Family Constellation Therapy is a systemic approach developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger in the late 20th century. It’s based on the premise that we are deeply influenced by the fates, traumas, and entanglements of previous generations in our family system—often in ways that remain unconscious to us.
This therapeutic method works with what Hellinger called “the knowing field”—a dimension of consciousness that holds the information of a family system across generations. Through the constellation process, hidden dynamics that may be causing current difficulties are brought to light, allowing for resolution and healing.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, family constellations work primarily with spatial arrangements, embodied experiences, and representative perception to access information that often cannot be reached through cognitive processes alone.
The Science Behind Family Constellations
While some aspects of family constellation work may seem esoteric at first glance, growing scientific research supports the underlying principles:
Epigenetic Influences
Recent advances in epigenetics suggest that trauma can indeed be inherited across generations through changes in gene expression. Studies have shown that offspring of trauma survivors show altered stress hormone profiles and different genetic markers compared to control groups.
In a 2018 study published in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology, researchers found that trauma can leave molecular traces on our genes that are passed down to subsequent generations—providing a potential biological basis for what constellation work addresses energetically.
Systems Theory
Family constellations are firmly grounded in systems theory, which recognizes that individuals cannot be understood in isolation from their relationships and environment. This aligns with established psychological frameworks that view the family as an interconnected emotional unit.
Neural Resonance
The phenomenon observed in constellations where representatives accurately sense the emotions and physical sensations of family members they’ve never met has parallels in neuroscience. Mirror neurons and somatic empathy research suggests humans have remarkable capabilities to sense and embody others’ experiences—a key aspect of how family constellations function.
Field Theory
Constellation work’s concept of the “knowing field” shares similarities with quantum field theory and morphic resonance theories, suggesting that information can be accessed non-locally. While still an emerging area of research, studies in consciousness and information fields provide intriguing frameworks for understanding how representatives in constellations can access accurate information.
How a Family Constellation Session Actually Works
Now, let’s explore the actual process of what happens during a family constellation session. While there can be variations in how facilitators conduct sessions, this guide outlines the typical flow of both group and individual constellation work.
Group Constellation Format
Most family constellations traditionally take place in a group setting with 10-20 participants. Here’s what happens:
1. Opening Circle and Introduction
The session begins with participants sitting in a circle. The facilitator explains the principles of constellation work and establishes a container of confidentiality and respect. Participants are reminded that they may step out if the process becomes too intense.
2. Issue Identification
One person (the “client”) volunteers to work on their issue. The facilitator conducts a brief interview to understand:
- The presenting problem or concern
- Relevant family history
- Significant events (deaths, migrations, illnesses, exclusions)
- What the client hopes to achieve from the session
This conversation is focused and purposeful—gathering just enough information to serve the constellation without unnecessary details.
3. Representative Selection
The client then chooses participants from the group to represent:
- Themselves
- Key family members relevant to the issue
- Sometimes abstract elements (like an illness, a country, or an emotion)
The selection process is intuitive rather than based on physical resemblance. Often clients report feeling drawn to particular people without knowing why.
4. Setting Up the Constellation
The client physically places the representatives in the space according to their internal image of the family system. This spatial arrangement already reveals important information about relationships within the system.
Once placed, representatives are asked to surrender to whatever sensations, emotions, or impulses arise—without acting on them yet. This is where the magic of representative perception begins.
5. Observing the System Dynamics
The facilitator observes what emerges as representatives begin to experience sensations and impulses. Representatives may report:
- Physical sensations (heaviness, lightness, pain, tension)
- Emotional states (sadness, anger, joy, fear)
- Directional pulls (wanting to move toward or away from others)
- Statements that arise (which often prove uncannily accurate)
The client observes from outside the constellation, witnessing these dynamics with the facilitator’s guidance.
6. Interventions and Movements Toward Resolution
Based on what emerges, the facilitator guides movements and healing sentences to restore order to the system. These might include:
- Repositioning representatives
- Including previously excluded family members
- Facilitating dialogue between representatives
- Introducing ritual sentences that acknowledge truth and restore dignity
This process isn’t scripted or analytical—it follows the energy of what wants to emerge in the field.
7. Resolution and Integration
When the constellation reaches a place of greater coherence and peace, the client is often invited to step in and replace their representative. This allows them to physically experience the new, more balanced energy of the system.
The constellation concludes when the new image feels complete. No further processing or analysis is done immediately afterward, as the work continues to integrate on deeper levels in the days and weeks that follow.
Individual Constellation Format
For those who prefer privacy or don’t have access to a group workshop, individual sessions offer an alternative approach. Here’s how they differ:
Using Objects or Floor Anchors
Instead of human representatives, the facilitator may use:
- Small objects (figurines, stones, cushions) placed on a table
- Floor markers or papers that the client moves around
- Visualization techniques
Online Constellation Possibilities
With the rise of virtual sessions, online family constellations have become increasingly common. These sessions typically use:
- Virtual representatives (other participants who join online)
- Digital markers on a shared screen
- Visualization guided by the facilitator
While the format differs, the process follows similar principles as group constellations.
What to Expect in a Family Constellation Session: The Experience
Beyond the mechanics, what is the actual experience like for participants? Here’s what you can expect physically, emotionally, and energetically:
For the Client (Issue Holder)
Before the Constellation
Many clients report:
- Nervousness or anticipation
- Uncertainty about what might emerge
- Sometimes a sense of readiness or “it’s time”
During the Constellation
The client typically experiences:
- Surprise at what emerges through representatives
- Recognition of truth (“Yes, that’s exactly how it feels”)
- Sometimes strong emotions as hidden dynamics are revealed
- A sense of witnessing their family system from a new perspective
After the Constellation
Following the session, clients often notice:
- A period of integration (1-3 weeks) where insights continue to unfold
- Dreams about family members
- Subtle shifts in how they relate to their family
- Sometimes spontaneous changes in persistent symptoms
- New clarity about their place in the family system
For Representatives
Those who represent family members often report:
- Unexpected physical sensations that don’t belong to them
- Emotions that feel foreign yet genuine
- Positional awareness (feeling drawn to or repelled by others)
- Temporary access to another’s experience
- A return to their own experience once the constellation ends
For Observers
Even those simply witnessing the process frequently experience:
- Resonance with aspects of the constellation
- Insights about their own family patterns
- Emotional releases without being directly involved
- A sense of the interconnectedness of human experience
7 Transformative Benefits of Family Constellation Sessions
Family constellation work offers unique benefits that differentiate it from other therapeutic approaches:
1. Reveals Hidden Systemic Patterns
Participants often discover unconscious loyalties and entanglements that have influenced their lives without their awareness. As one client shared after a session in Dublin: “I finally understood why I’ve always felt responsible for everyone’s happiness. I was carrying my grandmother’s unprocessed grief without even knowing it.”
2. Creates Experiential Rather Than Intellectual Understanding
Instead of just talking about family dynamics, constellations allow you to feel and witness them directly. This bypasses intellectual defenses and creates deeper, embodied insights.
3. Addresses Transgenerational Trauma
Constellations access and begin to heal trauma that has been passed down through generations—often trauma that was never spoken about but continues to impact family members.
4. Restores Belonging and Order
Many personal struggles stem from unconscious exclusions in the family system. Constellations work to acknowledge everyone’s right to belong, often bringing profound relief to the entire system.
5. Releases Unhealthy Identifications and Entanglements
When children unconsciously “carry” burdens for parents or ancestors, constellations help return these burdens to where they belong, freeing the descendant to live their own life.
6. Creates Movement Where There Was Stagnation
Many clients seek constellations when they feel stuck in patterns that resist conventional approaches. The constellation process often creates movement precisely because it addresses the root systemic cause.
7. Strengthens Connection to Personal Resources
As entanglements are resolved, clients frequently report feeling more connected to their own strength, clarity, and purpose—resources that were previously depleted by unconscious systemic burdens.
Common Concerns and Misconceptions About Family Constellations
Despite its growing popularity throughout Europe, family constellation work sometimes faces skepticism. Let’s address some common concerns:
“Is it Scientific Enough?”
While not all aspects of constellation work can be measured with current scientific instruments, many of its principles align with emerging research in epigenetics, neuroscience, and systems theory. Like many effective therapeutic modalities, it combines empirical observation with elements that go beyond current scientific explanation.
“Do I Need to Believe in It for It to Work?”
Interestingly, constellation work doesn’t require belief to be effective. Skeptical participants often report being most surprised by their experiences as representatives or clients. The phenomenon of representative perception occurs regardless of one’s beliefs about it.
“Is it a Religious or Spiritual Practice?”
While constellation work acknowledges spiritual dimensions of human experience, it isn’t tied to any specific religious tradition. People of all faiths and those with no religious affiliation can benefit from the process.
“Will it Make Family Relationships Worse?”
Constellation work aims to bring peace to family systems rather than disruption. While insights gained may change how you relate to family members, this typically happens in ways that bring more authenticity and less reactivity to relationships.
“Is One Session Enough?”
Many people experience significant shifts from a single constellation. However, complex issues may benefit from multiple sessions spaced over time. Each constellation addresses what’s most ready to be seen at that moment.
Real Case Studies: Transformation Through Family Constellation Work
To illustrate what happens in actual sessions, here are anonymized examples from my practice:
Case Study 1: Recurring Depression With No Apparent Cause
Client Issue: Maria sought help for depression that had persisted despite years of therapy and medication. She had no childhood trauma she could identify.
What Emerged in the Constellation: Representatives revealed a strong connection to her maternal grandmother, who had lost a child in infancy—a fact Maria’s mother had mentioned only once in passing. The representative for Maria felt a deep sadness that didn’t feel like her own.
Resolution Process: The constellation acknowledged the grandmother’s loss and Maria’s unconscious carrying of this grief. Through guided sentences and movements, Maria was able to honor her grandmother’s experience while returning the burden of grief to where it belonged.
Outcome: In the weeks following, Maria reported a lifting of her depression that felt different from previous remissions—”as if something heavy I didn’t know I was carrying has been set down.”
Case Study 2: Career Blocks Despite Talent and Effort
Client Issue: Thomas, a gifted professional, found himself repeatedly sabotaging career advancements despite his capabilities and hard work.
What Emerged in the Constellation: The constellation revealed a hidden loyalty to his father, who had failed in business and never recovered his sense of worth. Thomas’s unconscious belief was that succeeding would betray his father.
Resolution Process: The constellation created a new image where Thomas could see and respect his father’s fate while claiming permission to succeed. His father’s representative spoke the words Thomas needed to hear: “I want you to succeed where I couldn’t. Your success honors me.”
Outcome: Thomas reported a remarkable shift in his work life within three months, finding himself naturally making decisions that supported his advancement without the previous pattern of self-sabotage.
How to Prepare for Your First Family Constellation Session
If you’re considering participating in a family constellation session, these preparations can help you get the most from the experience:
Before the Session
- Clarify Your Intention: While remaining open to what emerges, having a clear focus helps the constellation stay centered.
- Gather Basic Family Information: Know the basic facts about your family history, particularly regarding:
- Premature deaths
- Significant losses
- Family secrets
- Exclusions (family members not spoken about)
- Major traumas (war, displacement, severe illness)
- Physical Preparation:
- Avoid alcohol for 24 hours before the session
- Stay hydrated
- Wear comfortable clothing
- Consider clearing your schedule after the session for integration
- Emotional Preparation:
- Practice staying present with uncomfortable feelings
- Come with openness rather than specific expectations
- Trust that whatever emerges is what needs to be seen
During the Session
- Stay Present: Notice when you’re in your head analyzing and gently return to sensing and feeling.
- Trust the Process: The constellation may not go where you expect—trust that it’s revealing what needs to be seen.
- Maintain Boundaries: If representing someone becomes too intense, you can always step out and let someone else take your place.
- Observe Without Judgment: Whether as a client, representative, or observer, practice witnessing without immediate interpretation.
After the Session
- Allow Integration Time: The constellation continues working in your system for days or weeks. Give yourself space for this process.
- Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water to support physical integration.
- Journal Without Analyzing: Record your experience without trying to make logical sense of everything immediately.
- Notice Changes: Be attentive to subtle shifts in your perceptions, relationships, and patterns.
- Avoid Major Decisions: Give yourself time before making significant life decisions based on constellation insights.
Family Constellations in Ireland vs. Other European Countries
As family constellations have spread throughout Europe, interesting cultural variations have emerged while the core methodology remains consistent:
Irish Context
In Ireland, where I primarily practice, family constellations often encounter:
- Strong family bonds and multigenerational households that make family patterns both more apparent and sometimes more challenging to shift
- The lingering impact of historical trauma, including famine and colonization
- Religious influences that sometimes manifest in constellation dynamics
- A cultural appreciation for storytelling that often makes Irish clients particularly receptive to the narrative aspects of constellation work
Germanic Origins and Approach
In Germany, where family constellations originated, you’ll often find:
- A more structured approach with clear boundaries
- Direct engagement with the impacts of WWII and the Holocaust
- Strong emphasis on order and hierarchy in family systems
- Extensive training programs and professional organizations
Mediterranean Variations
In southern European countries like Italy and Spain:
- More emphasis on emotional expression during constellations
- Integration with local spiritual traditions
- Strong focus on mother-child bonds in the constellation process
- Often more physical movement in the constellation space
Despite these variations, the fundamental principles and benefits of constellation work remain consistent across cultures. The process adapts to honor both universal human needs and culturally specific experiences.
Frequently Asked Questions About Family Constellation Sessions
What happens in a family constellation session if I don’t know much about my family history?
Even with limited information, constellations can reveal significant dynamics. The “knowing field” often provides information that wasn’t consciously available to the client. Additionally, the most essential patterns often show themselves regardless of how much historical detail is known.
What can I expect to feel after a family constellation session?
Most people experience a mixture of emotions: relief, insight, sometimes temporary disorientation as their system integrates new perspectives. Physical sensations like tiredness, thirst, or unusual dreams are common. The integration process typically unfolds over 1-3 weeks as your system adjusts to the new alignment.
What’s the difference between family constellations and traditional therapy?
Traditional therapy primarily works through cognitive understanding and emotional processing over multiple sessions. Family constellations access systemic dynamics through spatial arrangement and representative perception, often creating significant shifts in a single session. While traditional therapy focuses primarily on the individual, constellation work addresses the individual within their larger family system.
How do I know if family constellations are right for me?
Family constellation work may be particularly beneficial if:
- You’re experiencing persistent patterns that haven’t responded to other approaches
- You suspect your issues may be connected to family history or dynamics
- You’re open to experiential rather than purely cognitive work
- You’re willing to witness sometimes difficult truths with compassion
A consultation with a qualified facilitator can help determine if this approach is suitable for your specific situation.
Are family constellations dangerous?
When facilitated by a properly trained practitioner, family constellations are generally safe. However, like any deep therapeutic work, they can bring up intense emotions. Working with a facilitator who has substantial training, supervision, and experience helps ensure the process remains contained and supportive.
Conclusion: The Journey of Healing Through Generations
Family constellation work offers a unique window into the hidden dynamics that influence our lives through the generations. By making the unconscious conscious, this approach allows for new freedom from patterns that may have persisted in families for decades or even centuries.
Whether you’re struggling with relationships, emotional patterns, physical symptoms with no clear medical cause, or simply a sense that something in your life is blocked, a family constellation session can reveal perspectives and possibilities that other approaches might miss.
As a facilitator practicing throughout Europe from my base in Ireland, I’ve witnessed countless profound transformations through this work. The most common feedback I receive isn’t about dramatic catharsis, but rather about the quiet, steady sense of “things falling into place” that follows a constellation.
If you’re curious about how family constellation work might support your healing journey, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together we can explore whether this approach might offer the missing piece in your path toward wholeness.
Abi Beri is a family constellation facilitator based in Ireland, working with clients throughout Europe both in-person and online. To learn more about family constellation work or to book a consultation, visit www.familyconstellationseurope.com.
Additional Resources:
- Books: “Love’s Hidden Symmetry” by Bert Hellinger, “The Healing Power of Family Constellations” by Thomas Schäfer
- Research: “Effectiveness of Systemic Family Constellations in Psychological Health and Well-Being” (Journal of Family Therapy, 2019)
- Training: European Family Constellation Association offers certified training programs
- Related Approaches: Somatic experiencing, narrative therapy, and ancestral healing work well in conjunction with family constellations
